Trimester Number 2

I've survived my first trimester with minimal carnage! No vomiting, just mild nausea and moderate fatigue. Everything I read says most people have a hard time gaining weight in the first trimester due to the nausea but my nausea always got better when I ate so I gained 13lbs! I've gotta get that under control.  I feel like it's already better though and it's easier to workout because I'm not so exhausted. And my hunger has calmed slightly.
I'm starting to show a little but mostly I just look fat in the belly I hate this stage of pregnancy where everyone thinks you might be pregnant but no one asks because they don't want to be wrong! I had one very brave family member of a patient ask me when my baby was due the other day, you could tell she regretted her decision as she was saying it then was relieved to know she was right, lol.
Still not much communication from my IP's I've just grown to accept that is the way it's gonna be. Kind of disappointing since this will be my last surrogacy but nothing I can do about it at this point so I shall go with the flow!
Emotionally I'm doing well those hormones have also calmed down, but since I have recently gone through a divorce it makes the whole thing a little more emotional. Not having anyone to really lean on when I am having those moments sucks but I am a strong woman and I will be just fine through it all and I will be better for it in the end. What doesn't kill me will only make me stronger and I will fight to be the strong independent woman I once was before marriage.
Trying to sell my house and work through custody issues and surrogacy and dating (which I've decided is unnecessary at this point) it's all a little much ok a lot much. I think I should join AA so I can use their 'one day at a time" quote.  In fact I have so many things going on right now I, most of the time, forget I'm even pregnant! Anyways, sorry that turned into a pity me blog instead of a surrogacy blog, apologies!
I have my first OB appointment on friday I'll be 14 weeks.  It's kind of nice not going until then I won't have many appointments since I started so late.  Till next time. Merry Christmas and hope you all have a happy and beautiful new year-pray mine will calm down too could ya?

10 weeks!!

I had my last sonogram with my monitoring clinic yesterday. Still 2 little babies in there with 2 strong heartbeats and little arms and legs and huge heads.  Happy and healthy we could see them moving around, bending their little arms and legs. Makes it seem more real seeing them moving in there, oh and apparently ones a boy and ones a girl.  I asked my IP what gender(s) he was hoping for and his reply was "well they put in a girl and a boy so hopefully thats still what they are" Oh, ok well that takes all the fun out of it!!  Our communication still sucks if that didn't tip you off already.  He's still busy moving and working and whatever else it is he does.  I've been pretty busy lately too so I guess it works out good?
Best news about being 10 weeks along now is that I no longer have to take meds! No more shots in my bum no more extra hormones (other than the ones the babies are pumping into me) no more vaginal suppositories, I'm a normal pregnant woman now! Also I get to start seeing my OB Dr. whom I love. Best Dr. in town I alone might pay all her bills with my pregnancies, Your welcome Dr. Hague!
Now, IF I deliver at 37 weeks like I did with the last set of twins I only have 27 weeks left, heres hoping for 2 healthy 37 week babies and one healthy surro mommy! This pregnancy can't possibly go fast enough for me. I might be a little sad when it's over knowing I will never, ever do this again, but then again it's a lot of work and time commitment to be a surrogate not to mention pregnancy is uncomfortable!
I have a friend who just recently started the process and I've been enjoying keeping up with her story as well.  Hoping for a healthy happy pregnancy for her and her IP's.
Until next time....

Sono Day

Here we go! I had my official 6 weeks confirmation of heartbeats sono on Thursday and drum roll please.......2 HEARTBEATS!!! I am carrying twins again! I definitely wasn't expecting this based on my betas but I guess that just goes to show those numbers don't mean a whole lot. I actually was kind of expecting it because I sonoed myself at work and saw 2 so by Thursday I wasn't surprised.  But how amazing is it to see 2 little tiny size of chocolate chip babies with little heartbeats flickering!  I'm very excited and happy for the IP's. Obviously, it's still very early and a lot can happen between now and D day, but we'll just hope for the best for this family to receive 2 healthy term babies!
As for me, I sweet talked my REI Doc into letting me do vaginal suppository progesterone now that I'm pregnant so I only have to do the 0.3ml of estrogen IM every 3 days!  My butt isn't sore at all and I'm one happy surro momma!  I will continue this regimen until I'm 10 weeks pregnant. Only 3 weeks and 2 days left! I have another sono scheduled for next Thursday to make sure they're still doing well.  2 weeks after that I'm supposed to have another one, but I have a trip to Jamaica planed already so we'll see when that one will actually happen? 
I still don't have many symptoms?  I have a little nausea here and there, nothing too serious though. I'm peeing a lot, but I'm drinking a lot too so it could be that? My most annoying symptom is dizziness when I stand.  My blood pressure must tank when I stand up because I almost pass out quite frequently.  I have to remind my self to stand up like an old lady, nice and slow.  Also in the mornings after I take my progesterone i feel  little drunk for like an hour or so.  I never felt like that with the other surrogacy so I'm not sure where that comes from?  I have a theory that being on all the meds prior to being pregnant is what makes me not feel the symptoms much? I could just be crazy,or the luckiest pregnant woman ever, I'm not sure which but you will not ever hear me complain!

Pregnant???

My transfer of 2, 6 day old embryos happened on Wednesday September 23rd. Since then I have not felt pregnant.  I'm a little tired, a little crampy, and have headaches and a cold. But not many symptoms otherwise. I'm a slightly impatient person so I asked my IF (Intended father) if I could take a home test and on Tuesday and Wednesday I had 2 positive tests!!! Yay, still not "official" till my blood test which I just so happened to have done this morning.  I was anxious yesterday though and bored so I looked up my previous surrogacy HCG results and at 7 days post 5 day embryo transfer my HCG was almost 3,000! Well, that was twins so obviously that's why it was so high.  I'm kinda hoping for twins this time toes I'm praying for a high number like that again.  Then I get the call...329, boo thats no 3,000, but I am pregnant and I'm excited about that.  It doesn't have to be twins as long as I'm pregnant! Then I posted on my surrogacy Facebook page my number and I was kinda disappointed and several people said their number was around that and they're pregnant with twins, so there is still hope.  My sono to be able to see if its one or 2 is on the 15th of November!!  TBD.........    :)

Transfer Number 1

I have officially had my transfer! I left Tuesday the 22nd for my embryo transfer, my sister and I flew in to LAX and drove immediately to Universal Studios, Hollywood because we only had that day and early the next morning to explore LA.  we accomplished quite a bit in 24 hours though, Universal, beeches, and Hollywood walk of fame! Oh, and food trucks, food trucks are so fun and delicious! Kogi, being the best one.  If you go to LA get some Kogi, it's unique and delicious and has a pretty large menu for a food truck.  I'm not being paid to say that, wish I was! I'd be OK if they just gave me free food for saying it.
OK, so lets back up a little and get back on task.  So I've been taking estrogen 0.2ml IM every 3 days for a couple of weeks prior to transfer and started taking Progesterone 1ml IM everyday since the egg donor had her retrieval which was 6 days prior to my transfer.  That makes for one very sore bottom! So the egg retrieval was on a Thursday and my transfer was the Wednesday after that.
Here we go, I woke up Wednesday morning got dressed and headed to my transfer.  I waited in the room they placed 2 6 day old fresh embryos in my uterus then I laid there for an hour.  It was quick and painless.  The shots in my bum hurt more than the transfer.  After that we headed to the hotel for some bed rest.  Yay, bed rest in LA! (insert eye roll)  It's pretty difficult to get food while on bed rest and you're the only one allowed to drive the rental car.  so we ordered in Thai food.  No Thai food next time, I really just wanted mango sticky rice, which was good but too sweet, and I couldn't eat my dinner because it was way to spicy!  Sorry, pardon the food talk, but when you're on bed rest there's not much else to do. In the morning we ordered room service and I paid way too much for oatmeal, fruit and disgusting coffee. very disappointing.
Anyways, enough food talk, today I am 5 days post fresh embryo transfer and I don't really feel much of anything different.  Just tired but I've been fatigued since I started the progesterone.  Some might say I'm having cravings already, but I just think I like pickles  lol. According to this fancy link I found I should be just now, or tomorrow, starting to produce HCG into my blood stream. We will know for sure soon my pregnancy test is scheduled for Friday.  I remember my last Surrogacy the first transfer was unsuccessful and I had all the symptoms like I was pregnant, but I wasn't.  The second transfer, which was successful, I had no symptoms and I swore I wasn't pregnant, but I was! So, moral of the story, don't worry be happy mon!
If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't we shall try again.  I really want it to work first try though so I can stop taking all these shots! Update Friday, hopefully----->

Yep, my butt hurts

Well, it has begun! I started my IM injections of estrogen 10 days ago and I'm scheduled for a transfer on September 22nd, 23rd or 24th.  That's if everything goes perfectly with the egg donor and my uterus.  So may things have to fall perfectly into place for this to work.  It's amazing that we have figured out a way to bring 2 totally different women together to make a baby.  I guess we should mention there is a man involved the intended father has a little something to do with this making of a baby, physically his part is easy, emotionally though I'm sure he's at least a little stressed out for it all to go well and to have a healthy baby/babies!
The IM injections aren't too bad to give myself.  In fact i barely feel them, the next day though my butt definitely hurts.  They also give me headaches and yes I'm super emotional.  Way more than when I was on the oral Estrogen. My life has been super hectic lately, lots of bad news (nothing related to surrogacy), trying to sell my house, just a lot all at once.  My brain is in overload, and the hormones on top of that aren't helping any!
Once I hear the OK I'll start progesterone IM then shortly after it'll be transfer time!! I can't wait to be pregnant and off the meds.  I'm still usually a little hormonal when I'm pregnant but not as bad as this!  Hopefully, my next post will be from my hotel room in LA while I'm on bedrest from my transfer!!!

I'M GOING CRAZY!!!

I've decided I like frozen transfers better! I'm so tired of waiting for everything to fall into place.  I had to wait for the egg donor to start her period, them she started and I thought I was gonna get a calendar of when to take meds and an estimated transfer date.  I didn't hear anything so I emailed the clinic.....apparently the legal paperwork wasn't completed yet so we were on hold.  So here I am impatiently waiting again for the egg donor to start her period.  I've never wanted someone to start their period so bad before.  I just want this to get going so I can officially be done being pregnant forever!!!  I hope this isn't a small window into how this whole process is going to go, so far nothing has gone as I was expecting.  I did hear from my IP though, after I decided to email him because it had been around 4 months since I'd heard from him.  He almost immediately emailed me back, but i haven't heard from him since.  At least I know if I need him he'll respond.  Again, I think he's just skiddish to get to know me and have this all fail again, I can't say I blame him!  So, the birth control pills are almost done again and no word from the egg donor on her period.  It sounds like it'll be mid September, possibly, when the transfer happens, I hope.  We're creeping up on being pregnant during the summer again and I absolutely do not want to be pregnant in the summer again!!  That's the whole reason I started this so early, that and so My best friend would be able to go with me for my transfer and she goes back to work tomorrow, so that's not going to happen either.  I think my first surrogacy through the agency went so much smoother and my IP's were so amazing. Good thing or I may have never done it again.  Speaking of them my daughter just returned home from her 1 month in Europe with them.  She had so much fun and saw so many amazing things, I am more than jealous.  I just hope she knows how fortunate she is to be rewarded such an amazing opportunity.  I'm sure she does, she's a pretty smart girl.  Hopefully soon I'll be on here telling you how much I hate taking all the meds and how much my butt hurts from the shots. Until then.......

Here we go...

My appointment went amazingly, I apparently have beautiful uterine lining, am disease free and possibly clinically insane for doing this a 3rd time! That's according to the Dr, but what does he know really? We had fun in LA, it was a very short trip and we only were able to go to Universal studios for am hour, but we rode 3 rides in that short amount of time. We also made a quick stop at Venice beech where my daughter verey quickly got stung by a bee after stepping on it, not her best plan.  We walked down Hollywood Blvd I found Bruce Willis' star (I love him) and after my appointment we went to Santa Monica beech.  I was late for my appointment by 30 minutes because LA traffic sucks bad! But I'm very proud of myself for driving there and not killing myself or anyone else.  They all actually seem to be good drivers, lots of motorcycles though and they were a little scary zooming around everyone, I thought I was going to have to use my nursing skills a couple of times.  The Dr. had a helmet in his office so I verified that he was a motorcycle rider and expressed my jealousy over his short commute time then also verified that he too has a certain level of crazy to zoom around all the cars.  The crazy leading the clinically insane, seems like an excellent match up! No, he loves me, I mean what's not to love I'm a Labor and Delivery nurse repeat surrogate X3! I'm probably his easiest patient.  Except he said he was going to make me do IM injection progesterone instead of vaginal suppositories and I kind of fought him for a minute, but eventually conceded his point.  Next step is to start my period and start birth control pills.  I know, birth control pills? Aren't you trying to get pregnant? Yes, but they want to control my ovulation and my uterine lining and get the egg donor and I's cycles lined up similarly. 
So, I started the birth control pill a couple of days ago and now I wait to hear when she starts hers and I think I start my meds when she starts her period but I'm not sure, and I have no clue when the actual transfer will happen yet which is slightly frustrating seeing as how I have a fulltime job I have to work around and pray someone will help cover my hours when I have to just up and leave for 4-5 days.  Once we hear when the egg donor starts her cycle I'll know a tentative transfer date.  Hope fully soon, I'll keep you updated!

Medical screening

Today's the day I travel to LA for my medical screening.  I have my beautiful daughter as a travel companion and plan on spending some time with her at Venice beech and Universal Hollywood.  I have officially experienced my very first travel delay. My flight for 5AM this morning got cancelled at 6:30 last night, so I had to scramble to book a new one.  Now we won't arrive in LA until 4:30 this evening and I had planned on spending the whole day today at Universal, so much for that plan!  Therefore, today we will do beech day and we will have only 3ish hours at Universal tomorrow, boo.  My medical screening appointment is at 10:30, should just be lab tests and meeting the Dr and staff.  hopefully it will only take an hour or so. I might call and see if I can get in earlier so we will have more time at Universal.  I can't wait till this is all done.  I might be the only woman in the world who's excited to get pregnant without having sex and who's not getting a baby out of it!  Although, I'm not the only surrogate in the world so there have to be other crazy's out there, right?
I haven't heard back about my contract yet, I feel like everything is taking so much longer this time around.  Everything just fell into place perfectly last time.  Maybe it's God's way of reminding me that I don't want to do this again, ever!

Finally

It's been about a month since I last posted, mostly because it's been a month since anything significant has happened!  I have been very impatiently waiting to start my period so we can schedule the medical screening.  They like to schedule in the middle of the cycle so they can see how thick the lining gets on it's own.  That finally happened and I am scheduled to appear on the 17th of June.  I haven't received my travel information yet but I assume I'll be flying to LA on the 16th, have my appointment on the 17th and fly back that day,  then back to work the day after.  My plan is to not miss any days of work for the medical screening appointment, there will be no avoiding missing some work for the transfer though.  I've spoken to my lawyer that is appointed to me by my agency about the contract, so that was reviewed made a few changes, and sent back for my IP to review and see if he agrees. I haven't spoken to my IP for several weeks, it's very different than last time.  We talked all the time, less in the beginning, but more after I was actually pregnant.  I've decided it really doesn't matter, he had a hard time with his previous attempt at surrogacy so I figure maybe he's trying not to get attached until he knows it's going to work out?  And if that's not the case and he just doesn't want to communicate much than that's ok too.  I want him to be involved as much as he wants to be involved.  I have lots of support on my end so I'm good.  I'm just excited to get this party started, so I can be done!  This WILL be my last surrogacy, unless my last IP's decide they want another (HAHA they have 3 boys now) but I would do one more for them if they wanted me to.  Speaking of them, my daughter leaves to visit them in Sweden in about 5 weeks, I am so excited for her (and a little jealous) mostly excited! They've planed to get married in Rome on her birthday, while she's there.  So exciting!!!  I'll also get to see one of them when my daughter fly's out I'm excited about that also.  We're meeting in Dallas and he's going to fly there with her.
I'm not excited about starting all the meds I'm gonna have to take though, I have a sneaking suspicion I'm gonna have to do the IM injections this time which I can give myself a shot, that's not the problem, it's the everyday shot and my booty is gonna be super sore!  I can and will do it if necessary, just nervous about it.  Hopefully, the process will be a little more exciting now and I'll be posting more now. We shall see!

I'm not to keen on waiting...

I hate waiting.  If it were up to me I'd get matched then get pregnant the next week.  And not really hearing from anyone about when this is all going to start doesn't help either.  I just received an email today from the IVF clinic saying hi and that they'll be in touch to set up my appointment.  Which, by the way, is in LA this time.  Another place I've never been.  The first trip is so short though that it's almost not worth trying to see anything.  It'll be different this time though because it's LA there are things to see everywhere.  The last clinic was in Connecticut, which was beautiful, but I really wanted to see NYC and to do that I needed more than a day there and back.  That's why we didn't go until it was time for the transfer.  Then we had a 45min train ride into the city and another 45min back.  Again, we only got one day.  But in LA it'll be different.  We will fly into the city and stay in the city, so I'll get to look around a little at least.  I need to research what to do while I'm there, or maybe ask my IP.  He travels a lot so I bet he can hook me up with some info?  I just really want to get started with the process, once it starts its like second nature it all just falls into place.  I'm kind of nervous about possibly having to do IM injections.  I'm a nurse so I know how to do it, but I got kinda spoiled last time with the vaginal suppositories, they were gross, but it was better than a bruised ass for several months.  Oh the sacrifices we make to bring little miracles into the world.  And in the end, not much of a sacrifice at all when you think about what you've accomplished.  A little human, whose biologically related to his/or her parent.  Although, if there's one thing surrogacy has taught me is that biology doesn't really matter.  Your parents are the people who love you and sacrifice themselves to make you happy.  The ones who raise you to be a better you, teach you right from wrong, and except you for you, even if they don't like you all the time.  But, having biological children is something we all yearn for and if possible, that's what we strive for.  It's not like getting a puppy from the pound instead of a breeder, it's a human child and we all want to pass on our genetics, that's just being human.
Surrogacy has been the most amazing gift I have ever been given, I know, I know gift I've been given?  But It has helped me to realize my place in this crazy world, I once was lost but now I am found so to speak.  I love helping others become parents, it's amazing. My IP's from last time posted a video of the twins laying in bed together and one was hysterically giggling, I'm not sure at what but I think he was laughing at his brother?  But it was adorable, they send me pictures often and are interested in my new surrogacy journey, and I love being able to talk to them about it.  I'm not really sure why, but seeing the video of the boys was more satisfying than pictures.  Maybe it was the giggling, knowing they are happy and healthy and loved, knowing that what I did mattered to them.  I helped make a family whole. And I can't wait to do it again!!!

Surrogacy Number 3

Here I go again, the twins are now 7 months old and I've recently decided to pursue another surrogacy journey through Circle surrogacy agency.  I filled out the updated paperwork and have been matched with a new IP.  So here we go again. My new IP, whom I just spoke to via Skype, seems very kind, smart, down to earth, and has been wanting a biological child for a very long time. It has just never worked out in his favor, including a failed surrogacy attempt a few years ago.
He seems very excited to work with me, but I will find to for sure what he thinks by Monday when the social worker with Circle lets me know what he has to say about me.  I wasn't sure at first because he's single and older, but as I said with my last IP's, who am I to judge?
I asked a lot of questions and he has really thought it through.  He's ready to take on anything and he is very supported in his pursuit of a child.
When I was filling out my paperwork I was very much in auto pilot just going through the motions, not really registering what I was doing.  Then I got the email that said she would send me a match by the next day.  I got nervous and excited, oh crap am I really ready to do this all over again, it's only been 7 months?  But it will take a little bit to do the medical screening and to prepare my body for a transfer, so it'll be ok body wise.  Then on to the excited, I get to meet new awesome IP's whom I'm going to get to help have a baby (or two?)  I love it, I get butterflies in my stomach just thinking about helping people complete their families.  What's not to love, ya ya, pregnancy, boo, but its life, it's love it's family, and why shouldn't I? It's almost a sin to not use my powers for good right?
Please pray this all goes as great as it has the last 2 times, successful transfers, healthy pregnancy and baby, and happy families!  (maybe less hormonal outbreaks this time?)
And if you see my husband on the street he might need a hug and a beer.  lol