the after affects...1week later

I was going to make D day my last post but then I realized that a lot of you probably are curious as to how I'm feeling now that it's all over. Well, I'm physically doing great. The cramping is mostly gone the weight, so far, is falling off and the gym is calling my name. Here in a week or so I'll be back in the gym. My boobs are pretty sore, I have been pumping milk for them since birth and will continue to until they leave the country if they want it that long. Pumping is VERY different than feeding a baby. Babies are much more gentle than a plastic machine.
 I have so much energy I want to move all the time, but then I'm up for too long and I will start bleeding a little more. That's my body telling me to slow it down. So I do, for now.
Now for the emotional part. I feel great emotionally, I can definitely tell I had a couple of babies. One minute I'm happy and wanting to go go go, the next I'm yelling at my kids or husband for something stupid. I've gotten to see the babies a couple of times since delivery and they are adorable and I love them, but I don't feel like they are mine at all. Their fathers and Nona (grandma) are head over heels in love with them!  I love watching them taking care of them. They are all smiles even after a night of crying babies they are just plain happy. That makes it all worth it!
I think the part that makes me the saddest is knowing that once they leave here in a few weeks they will be gone.  I probably will never or at least very rarely see them in person. They have their own lives to get back to. I'm talking about my IP's not the babies. Obviously, I'd love to see the babies in the future, but the bond with the IP's, myself and my family has become great. My oldest daughter is going travel to Sweden next summer to see them so there will be contact, but to me that's the hardest part of all of this for me. I'm gonna miss my IP's. I will look forward to the emails and whatever kind of communication we can share in the future, but also understand that they have jobs and family and friends and now 2 more children to raise. They will be busy, so I will take what I can get. I do know they will do their best to stay in touch because that's just how they are. I am excited for the future and to watch these little guys grow up with their daddies!